The Importance of Fellowship

There is nothing more important in all of our lives than our relationship with, and obedience to, God. Nothing comes close. But God also puts people in our lives to guide us, encourage us and to keep us on track. I heard someone say the other day – when talking about the challenges of overcoming addiction- “when it is just me and God in the room, I can talk Him into just about anything.” Obviously it is ourselves we are talking into taking a wrong path, but we can sometimes convince ourselves that God is onboard. We can be weak, but our brothers and sisters in Christ can help to keep us on the right path- if we open up enough to them to let them know our struggles.

Our need for fellowship is clearly modeled with Jesus and the disciples. Our Lord says, “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them” (Matthew 18:20). Although there is certainly an important place for silence- and for us to be in communion alone with Him, there is a very clear role for building each other up in the faith.

I realized last year that I didn’t have many female Catholic friends. I love my friends who aren’t Catholic- but it is my fervent belief that as the Church Body we need to actively surround ourselves with those who can hold us accountable to the requirements of Christianity. The reality is that we have one purpose in this life, and that is to become a saint. This is a difficult path to even try to conceive- and fortunately we “can do all things through Christ who strengthens”- but without fellow runners of the race it feels even harder. We know from Hebrews that there is a “great cloud of witnesses” in heaven rooting us on in this journey to saint hood, but also God gave us friends and fellow disciples for encouragement and correction. We need to seek them out in a very serious and focused way. I did this- and now I have a community of Catholic women around me. We pray for each other, we share books about faith together, and we find ways to lift each other up in our walk with Christ.

My Catholic girlfriends and I are planning a day trip to some local shrines this fall along these lines. There are a lot all over the US- you can find some suggestions here and here. My encouragement to you is that you take time to visit places like this near you- but do it with a friend. My mom and I, and my youngest son, went two weekends ago to the Franciscan Friars of the Atonement in Garrison, New York. If you haven’t been there and live in New York, it is worth the trip. The property is bigger than we expected, and there are beautiful chapels and places to pray, both indoors and outdoors. It would be a wonderful place to go alone, but it was even more special to share this with loved ones.

We all need to find our group to keep us accountable. Pray for one another. Be willing to encourage each other to holiness. Our Church is such an incredible gift to the world, and we are so blessed to have been given the gift of faith. This gift is available to everyone- anyone who asks for faith will be given it by Jesus. We have people around us who can help us to “run the race” that has been put before us. Let’s do it together, in fellowship of the love of Christ!

The Truth of the Real Presence

It was recently reported in a Pew Research report that the majority of American Catholics do not believe in the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. It raises the question as to how people define themselves as Catholic. If a person doesn’t believe what the Church teaches, that is certainly their prerogative- but believing the church teachings is the definition of being a Catholic. I was pleased to hear in Sunday mass, the priest hit this point very hard- as I hope is true in churches across the country. Believing in the miracle of the Eucharist is not optional.

For those of us who are believers, it is important to arm ourselves with the reasons why we believe, so we can share it with others who have questions about this. There are three reasons that come to mind immediately as to why we know that there is a real and miraculous change of the bread and wine in the mass to the actual body and blood of Jesus – what we know as transubstantiation:

  1. Jesus said so. Of course in the last supper, we know from Matthew 26:26 that Jesus said “Take this and eat it, this is my body.” A lot of people say that this was just a metaphor. However we see again in John 6:56 that Jesus says “Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in them.”- and again, people could say that this is a metaphor but for the fact that a few lines later we see in verse 60 that many of the disciples say “this is a hard teaching, who can accept it?” and then in verse 6:66 we see that “From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.” Why would disciples stop following Jesus for just a metaphor? The answer is, they wouldn’t. It is a hard teaching- but it is also the truth.
  2. Science says so. Too many times to enumerate, there have been studies done by scientific and scholarly people who have found actual human tissue in the Eucharist. Here is one article about this, but there are many. The one that I first heard and that made such an impression on me, was this one. In short, the consecrated host was found to have a red stain and when investigated by doctors, they determined that they were cells from the heart of a dying man. Gives me chills.
  3. Miracles show that it is so. It was recently the Feast of St Clare, and she was one of many who was part of a Eucharistic miracle. One small woman was able to turn away an entire army by holding the eucharist against them- Jesus was most certainly there with her. There are many other example of Eucharistic miracles, showing clearly that Jesus is present and with us in the consecrated host.

As Catholics it isn’t enough that we go to mass on Sunday and act charitably. These are all required, but more than that, we need to really immerse ourselves in the teachings of the church-and share them as best we can with people who are open to hearing. This is the life saving truth of Jesus Christ, and it is up to us who have been given the grace of faith to bear witness to it whenever possible.

Breadcrumbs

I was recently asked to share the story of my faith journey with a group of young professionals. As I was recounting my path from no awareness of God, to awakening, to becoming a Christian, one things was clear- God put people and events in my path to lead me to Him.

Someone once said to me that God’s plan for our lives can be a bit like a GPS- if we follow Him we can get to where we are going like the most efficient WAYZ routing. But, as with many of us, we get distracted and off the path (or actively seek to go our own way)- and God is there to reroute us back in the direction we need to go, if we are only willing to pay attention. Sometimes that grinding voice of the GPS telling us to “make a U-turn NOW” is something we choose to ignore- at our peril. The good news is that we have an opportunity as long as we live to get onto the right path!

It really struck me how there have been so many people in my early days of finding faith who I am sure felt like their witness was wasted on me. In college, which was the first time I really met people who were active Christians, I was openly rude to many of them. I thought they were hypocrites or ignorant, and I wasn’t shy to share that with them. I am certainly not proud of how I treated them- but I share this because I think it is important to recognize that those people were planting seeds- or in the imagery that I like the best, they were putting down breadcrumbs for me to follow, eventually leading to Jesus.

I have a very dear friend – a wonderful woman who lives her faith loudly in her actions. She is someone who I attribute a huge part of the change in my heart from being negative and resistant to the message of Christ to being open. Many years ago I had recently moved into my home on a military base. I was large and lumberingly pregnant, with another baby in arms. I met my neighbor from across the street briefly and we exchanged introductions and pleasantries. The next time I saw her, I was recovering from a c-section – but unfortunately my baby had died in the hospital. I was devastated, and was far from recovering from facing an empty nursery. I ran into my neighbor and she briefly shared with me that she had also lost a child-and offered to have me over for a coffee if I wanted to talk. I think I was on her doorstep at 8am the next morning!

She was a lifeline to me at a time that I didn’t know where else to turn. She was a great listener and was open and honest about how she dealt with her own loss. Eventually she invited me to a bible study that she hosted at her home- and initially I declined, saying that I wasn’t “into” that sort of thing. She told me I was welcome any time, and that I was not obligated to talk – or to believe- anything that anyone said. She said it was a nice group of people and there was good food (she is an amazing cook!). I went, and in time I was curious enough to participate. Later on, when our husbands all went off to war she invited me to go to her church with her. Any diversion at that time was welcome – and I began to listen and to hear what was being said.

It was a number of years later that I believed that Jesus died for me, that He is God’s Son – and that I wanted to accept the Gospel message. I know from conversations with my former neighbor (who, 30 years later, I still count as a very dear friend) that she doesn’t believe she did much in the way of shaping my faith journey- but the work that God did through her was immeasurable. It also showed me that just inviting people – to a conversation, to a meal, to a prayer group or to church- can be the opening they need in their life to begin their faith journey.

I think for all of us, we have no idea how God is using us as we interact with people, but I really do believe that if we approach each day prayerfully and ask God to make us His instrument- we don’t really need to know the outcome of every story in which we play a role. We can trust that God’s ways are perfect and that in the fullness of glory, if we submit to His will and follow what He has planned for us, the story He is writing is amazing!!

What’s the Goal?

I have been asked to speak with a group of mid-level business executives this week about my faith. The audience are mostly in their 30’s and 40’s and all are Christians- few are Catholics. The “ask” was that I speak about my faith journey – and what I do as a business leader to live my faith at work, and in life in general.

Having started my early life with no awareness of faith at all, growing somewhat hostile to people of faith in my teen years, and then becoming a Christian in my 20’s- and finally becoming a Catholic at 40-ish, there is a lot to the journey to convey before ever getting to the point about what it looks like now. I am also really more conscious than I probably should be about the biases that non-Catholic Christians have about the Catholic faith as I consider what to say, so here is what I am thinking:

  1. This is not about me. None of it is. The journey was something that God designed, the work I have done was His gift to me. The unfolding of the gift of faith in my life has been something that I have been a recipient of. The story I have – and the becoming a Catholic- is something that I can share as a recording of events, but I don’t need to add or subtract anything from the narrative because it is the work that He has done in my life.
  2. Knowing the people with no faith have biases against Catholics, or that some Protestants have biases against Catholics ranges from irrelevant- in that it doesn’t change the story- to being the biggest reason I need to share my story. I find that people who aren’t Christian often expect Catholics to be bigoted, judgmental or closed minded, and Protestants often expect Catholics to be uneducated on scripture, indifferent to the Holy Spirit, and not deeply in love with Jesus. So this is an opportunity to speak proactively about what it means to be Catholic.
  3. When it comes to living my faith at work, I have learned from some people who are far wiser – and bolder – than I am, ways to introduce faith in a way that can be inviting. For instance:
    • When people say “what did you do this weekend”, you can say “after church, my family and I went to the beach”- or whatever you did. But just adding in the notion that going to church is a part of your life is helpful.
    • Leaving books about faith in plain sight in the office has been an incredible conversation starter for me.
    • When someone comes to talk about a life problem, asking if I can pray for them is a great way to introduce faith. No one has said no so far. What I haven’t done (although others I know do this really well) – when someone says that it’s ok to pray for them, just go ahead and pray for them right there. Bold and effective!
    • Joining faith based business networking groups or prayer groups at work is a great way to connect with other people. At two of the companies I have worked at I joined Bible studies which were wonderful. More and more companies have faith based employee groups.
  4. The older I get the more clear I get on my “rules to live by”- which makes that easier to communicate to people in my life. A small example is that when I was recently traveling with a non-Catholic friend over a weekend, I explained that I would be going to mass on Sunday and suggested a few alternate times depending on what she wanted to do. There was a time in my life when I would have felt weird about interrupting a holiday weekend like this- but now I know that a) good friends don’t mind and b) more importantly- God is the audience to be focused on- so going to mass is non-negotiable.

The main thing is that there is nothing in my life that really belongs to me- it is all His. My kids and family, my money, my body and health, my career and professional achievements- all of these are things that have been made possible by God’s grace and it is my job to make an offering of everything I have to further develop the relationship with the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. As Mother Angelica used to say “we are all called to be great saints, don’t miss the opportunity!” – I am far, far, far from being a saint in any respect (great or otherwise) but in thinking about living out faith in the workplace or in any other aspect of life, that has to be the goal!

Embracing the Diversity in the Church

I was sitting in mass yesterday and remarking to myself how diverse the attendees are. Young and old, seemingly well off as well as potentially homeless- and everyone in between-were there. Every race and so many nationalities worshipping together. The body of Christ looks like the world- as one would expect. In a world where many institutions- schools, workplaces, and neighborhoods- are very homogeneous, the Church is a place where everyone is welcome and the true diversity is on display.

Everyone is truly welcome- even if you aren’t Catholic, even if you aren’t Christian, even if you aren’t a believer of any kind. Welcome to come and hear the Good News! We see over and over again the example of Jesus reaching out and spending time with not only the devout in the community, but also the very wayward. How else will people know what the church teaches if they don’t come and hear, or if we don’t reach out and share?

There is another kind of diversity in the Church, which I also think is interesting. Among Catholics there are people who have a more liberal interpretation of social justice and others who take a more conservative view. There are also Catholics who adhere strictly to tradition (I do love that my priest faces away from the congregation, for example), but I also sometimes go to mass in parishes where this is not the case- and Jesus is still there in the Eucharist!

There are a group of young Friars in the Bronx who have a rock band. I love seeing their videos and I know that they are reaching a segment of society that probably wouldn’t gravitate to Gregorian Chant. Just like in nature, some of us are moved by sunsets and some of us are moved by a raging storm, but God created all of these things. The author of diversity in this world is, after all, God Himself.

Rather than bristling against whether someone takes communion in their hand or on the tongue, or any other of the differences that may divide us as Catholics, let’s focus on what Jesus has taught us- about love, and about the embracing of the differences among us.

We Live with Pain

I forget who said that it is never the things that we actually worry about that are the things that turn out to be the bad stuff that happens to us, but I am reminded of this on a regular basis. I found myself worrying yesterday that I had left some food out on the counter when we were hours away from the house- when there was nothing to be done about it. It turns out I hadn’t left any food out- and anyway, it would have hardly been a tragedy if I had. And then this morning comes and I get a message that someone in my family is really struggling with some very serious issues that I don’t know how to help with. In a way maybe it is a blessing that we don’t really know what is going to happen next in life.

One of the things that I am super grateful for is that my faith tells me what to do in these situations where I have no idea what to do:

  1. Pray. Pray pray pray pray pray. Spending this morning offering my daily rosary (and then some) for this family situation is bringing this problem right into the throne room of God. It also reminds me that the creator of the universe loves this person even more than I do- and He hears my prayers.
  2. Knowing that God has a plan for this situation gives me much more confidence to at least ask how I can help- and let the people involved know that I love them. I don’t have to have a solution- but I do have to step out in faith knowing that if God has me as part of the solution I am ready to go.
  3. Feel the pain. The pain in my heart is real, but that is ok. This is part of carrying my cross and I can offer up the sadness and the hurt- as an offering for this situation, as an offering for all the suffering souls in this world, as an offering for the suffering souls in purgatory. The pain is not fruitless. The pain can bring us closer to Jesus. The pain is part of what it means to live in a fallen world.
  4. Be kind when I see others in pain. The gospel reading in church yesterday was the well known parable of the Good Samaritan. Could I do better in providing aid and comfort to my neighbor (i.e. everyone I see?) – of course. When I hear the story of the Good Samaritan, and I hear about the priest and the Levite who walked to the other side of the street to avoid the injured man, I am a little bit sympathetic because I wonder if there was a part of them that was afraid. Afraid that the injured man would hurt them, or that whoever beat him was lurking nearby. I have had some of these same fears when I have seen people on the streets of NYC obviously in need- and I have sometimes avoided them just as the priest and Levite did. I will continue to pray for the strength to overcome my fears and to help when I can.

Our lives on this earth are not going to be without pain- Jesus promised us that. We are also told not to worry- we need to give our worries to the Lord. This is what I will try to do today- one day at a time.

Catholic Church as Champion of Women

In today’s society there is a lot of talk about what it means to be a strong woman. There seems to me to be a constant drip of news articles where either women are victims (such as in the #MeToo movement) or where women are fighting for equality.

In my view, the best place to look to understand what it means to be a strong woman is in the Catholic Church. This may sound bizarre to some people, who view religion in general as oppressive to women, and the Catholic Church in particular as not being pro-women. I have heard all of the arguments- women can’t be priests, the church is anti-abortion- and so on. Here is why I think the Church is the #1 institution in the world promoting women’s rights and the equality of women:

  1. From the beginning – and I mean really the beginning- Eve and Adam were made to be partners. Throughout the Bible we have examples of strong women (Esther, for instance). Jesus had wonderful women that he treated as equals in a way that was very controversial for the times. The respect he had for the sisters Mary and Martha, and having women as followers was ground breaking. This equality is our example.
  2. The Virgin Mary is the very best example of the position of women in the church (and in heaven!). Crowned as the Queen of Heaven, there is no human being that is in a more exalted position than the mother of Jesus. You don’t have to spend too much time hanging around the Catholic Church to understand that the Blessed Mother is someone we should hold in incredibly high esteem.
  3. The Church celebrates saints who are women and men, people of all races and ages, and of all socioeconomic backgrounds. Looking for diversity? Study the Saints of the Catholic Church.
  4. As many of you know, I had my marriage blessed in the church not too long ago. Talk about a beautiful ceremony in which a man and a woman give each other to each other as equals. It is crystal clear in this sacrament that there is equality in these two parties coming together as one.
  5. There is no organization in the world that does more for the education and healthcare, across the globe, and in equal measure for men and women.

On the topic of abortion, Mother Theresa said it best when she said that 3/4ths of the victims of abortion are women- all of the mothers and half of the babies that are girls. Modern society tells women that abortion is good for them, but this is part of the deceptiveness of satan. The sorrow that comes to women who have had this procedure is something that is unspeakable- and we as a society need to come to grips with the genocide that is happening in our midst and do something to stop it. The Catholic Church is doing more to stop this- and to bring healing to all involved- than any other organization.

I was talking to a Catholic woman the other day about being “pro-Choice” and she said she didn’t want the government telling women what to do with their bodies. This is the tag line for the abortion industry. The reality is that a baby has it’s own DNA – it’s own body. But also important is again what Mother Theresa said:

“We must not be surprised when we hear of murders, of killings, of wars, of hatred. If a mother can kill her own child, what is left but for us to kill each other.”
~ Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta ~

Women can’t be priests – neither can men be nuns. Priests are not “better” than nuns- when you see the influence that people like Mother Angelica have had on the church it is pretty profound. Mothers can’t be fathers and fathers can’t be mothers. We all have our place in this world – not better or worse but the true diversity that we bring because of how God created each of us- man and woman.

How to really pick up my cross?

We are all either the protagonist or victim in the narrative of our lives- but never do we put ourselves in the role of the antagonist. Presumably if we knew we were doing something wrong we would stop it, but are we aware when someone else thinks of us as the antagonist in their lives? Can we explain it away or do we pause to consider whether we are, in fact, in the wrong?

There are two scripture versus that I read today. One was in the mass, which was Matthew 8:18-22, the gist of which is that to follow Jesus you need to be willing to have “nowhere to rest your head” and that you may have to turn your back on your family and prior life – “leave the dead to bury their dead”. In short, being a follower of Jesus involves putting Him first, and the priorities of this world, such as comfort and other obligations, will need to be set aside.

The second scripture that jumped out at me today was Matthew 5:14-16- the familiar verse about letting your “light shine before men”- being “salt and light” in this world.

What got me thinking in both of these verses was to what degree, in my own life, am I really made to be uncomfortable by my followership- and to what extent am I being salt and light? Let’s face it, there are a lot of people in this world today who are literally putting their lives on the line by being a Christian. I am certainly not one of them. In addition, there are people who have given up their lives- like our priests, nuns and other religious- to serve God. I certainly haven’t done that either. I have a nice family, nice job, nice life. Feels a little…nice.

This brings me back to the notion of being an antagonist vs a protagonist. Is an antagonist always someone who overtly does something bad – like steal or cheat? Could an antagonist be someone who is just comfortable but doesn’t extend themselves to really help where they can? We can make the case that taking care of our own families, being kind and cheerful, and even philanthropic are enough. But if that is enough, what did Jesus really mean by having us pick up our cross? It seems to me that we (and I) are called to much more than that. Sacrificial giving, sacrificial prayer, not just going to church on Sunday but really engaging to be in the Real Presence of Jesus whenever possible (which for most of us could be more than once a week if we tried). Finding places in this world where there are people who are really hurting- and helping.

I don’t know the exact answer. In this disconnected world where we are all isolated in our homes and behind our computer screens, it is easy to feel like we are doing something when in fact we aren’t doing much. I am not sure exactly what I can do – or what God is calling me to do- but it is my prayer to find out. I would ask that you pray for me in this, and perhaps for yourself too!

Bright Spots!

Sometimes it is necessary to proactively find the good in this world- because sometimes it seems that the forces of evil are taking over. Here are a few articles and thoughts that brightened my day and I hope they do yours as well!

1.The Catholic Church is doing great things in the world. Check out this article about how the Church remains the biggest charity in the world, and in particular brings education and healthcare to so many people!

2. But even more important, we know from Matthew 16:18 that “the gates of hell will not prevail against us”. I love the St Thomas More quote that says:

“Don’t worry about me no matter what happens in this world. Nothing can happen to me that God doesn’t want. And all that He wants, no matter how bad it may appear to us, is really for the best”

3. There are some people in this world who truly make it a better place. I loved this article about the photographer who takes fantasy pictures of severely ill or disabled children. Every life matters and every child is beautiful. To be able to illustrate this in such a creative and loving way made my day!

4. Despite the headlines of division and political wrangling across our country and many parts of the world, I find that most people want to work together and to be kind to their neighbor. Animosity sells newspapers, but most people aren’t that interested. I pray it stays that way!

5. Christians and people of faith around the world are being persecuted- but God will always have the last word. If this earth and this life were all that we had, the situation would look grim indeed- but we know that this world will come to an end, and that we are promised eternity! Focusing today not on the challenges of this world but on how to prepare for the next can really change the perspective for the better!

6. If you want to do something important today but don’t know what that might be, here are a couple of suggestions: a) smile at someone b) turn away any harsh words with kindness c) say a prayer for someone- especially someone who you are angry with d) thank God for all of the blessings in your life- I bet you can count 10 blessings without even trying that hard.

I pray that everyone reading this have a blessed day!

How Can I Help?

There are a lot of us Catholics who would like to be of service more than we are-but aren’t really sure how we can help. Here are a few ideas- and also some things that I would like to challenge myself to do that I haven’t done:

  1. Prayer is always #1. You can help anyone and everyone by praying for them- and every situation that is on your heart warrants prayer. If you do nothing else, start and end the day with prayer.
  2. Listen to people – make yourself available and try to hear and understand people. So many people are lonely or don’t feel heard. You don’t need a solution to their problem – just be an ear (and maybe a pair of hugging arms) for them.
  3. Donate – If you have money to give, give it. Where? Here are a few of my favorite places:
    1. Your parish- they feed you spiritually and they undoubtedly help your community. A great place to start (and you are there every week anyway so it is convenient!)
    2. Organizations in your community that help people in a way that supports your values. Here in New York City my favorites include:
  • Cristo Rey Brooklyn– an amazing Catholic high school providing a top notch education to kids with real economic challenges.
  • Good Counsel Homes– a great organization that helps pregnant women have a place to live and care for their children while assisting them with education and job skills to gain independence
  • POTS – a loving community in the Bronx which provides food, shower services, legal services and so much more to people in need

3. Organizations that help grow our faith:

  • The Catholic Thing is a publication that I read every day, and I find it so incredibly inspiring
  • EWTN is, in my opinion, the only really worthwhile thing on tv!

4. Volunteer – I have been not as consistent with this as I would like to be, but here are a few ideas:

  • Your parish will have tons of places where your gifts can be used. Visiting shut-in people, volunteering your financial acumen, reading at Mass are just a few ideas. If you aren’t sure how you can be helpful, ask your parish priest!
  • Most cities and town have homeless shelters where it really does help to have an extra pair of hands.
  • Catholic Charities have a whole host of ways to help people, from literacy programs, to visiting the elderly in nursing homes etc

The main thing is that there is a lot that we can do to bring our faith to life and to serve others. I know there is more that I can do, and I do believe that is true for most of us. This week, let’s resolve to do one more thing than we have done before, as always asking for guidance through prayer!