Sin, Lent and Holiness

This Lent, my 16 year old son and I are working through the Ascension Lenten Companion book. I have never done this before, and I am finding that doing it with my son is a precious and wonderful experience. The book itself is good, but the conversation that it has motivated between us has been inspiring, challenging, moving and something I will really treasure.

A few days ago, the topic in the book turned to making a good confession. We have been going to weekly confession through the Lenten season, so this was a topic that we have discussed before. My son is a more active confession-goer than I am, and I recall a year or so ago when he was on his way to confession and invited me to go with him. My reaction was that I had just been there (I think it had been 6 days) – and I wasn’t sure what in the world I was going to say. My son, with both love- and also a bit of challenge- said “really? You are so holy that you haven’t sinned in the last 6 days? Maybe I can help…” He then proceeded to walk through the 10 Commandments and the Beatitudes with me, and in short order I had plenty to share at the Sacrament of Reconciliation!

In the Lenten Companion book, there are pages of potential sins to consider. My son and I read through them together. When we got to one about whether you set apart Sunday for the Lord, my son turned to me and said “that one is for you”. I am known to be a bit of a workaholic, and it is very true that it is very easy for me to slip into work on a Sunday afternoon. Just a few emails….just a little preparation for next week…just…just…just…

It is so easy to make excuses and to try to brush off sin. But he (and the Lent book, and the Good Book, and the Catechism, and the Church) are right, that keeping the Sabbath Holy is a pretty explicit command. I have talked to my priest about this in the past and he said that if work is unavoidable that is another matter, but in my case it is usually a matter of habit and convenience to work on a Sunday, not as much a necessity.

So this past Sunday I didn’t work. It felt weird and also wonderful. I did spend time in focusing on the Lord, and I also spent time in relaxation. God certainly doesn’t make mistakes, and our bodies, minds and souls do need a day that is different from the others – one that is focused on Him in a different way.

Lent is certainly a journey and an awakening. While it is always incumbent upon us to strive for holiness, this season can be so helpful in underscoring the reasons why. As Mother Angelica always said, “we are all called to be great saints, don’t miss the opportunity!”

You are the Only Bible Some People will Ever Read…

A young man said this to me the other day. We were talking about what it means to be a Christian at work, and the conversation turned to how our behavior may be the only indication that some people have of who Jesus is. It is a daunting task to be sure, but I thought that was a really apt way to frame it- and it made me think the following:

  1. The Bible is the inspired Word of God. I am certainly not that. But if my actions are the only way that someone may see the Beatitudes, or understand that love of neighbor is a commandment- then I have big shoes to fill indeed. Challenging myself, and reminding myself, that this is what I am called to do and to be in my workplace, puts a wonderful dimension of additional responsibility on what it means to be a good worker. In this case, our work is our mission field no matter what our “job” is- and it also means that all of our jobs are important because we all have the opportunity to touch someone in an important way that could make them interested in learning more about the faith.
  2. You can’t be a Bible to someone (or a witness to the faith) unless you know what the faith actually says. A wise woman said to me earlier this week that our faith is so beautiful because there is always something to learn, always ways to go deeper. I certainly find that to be the case. The depths of the Lord’s wisdom is way beyond what I could ever grasp in many lifetimes, so continuing to push myself to learn more and absorb more – whether that is in reading the Bible and Bible studies, attending mass regularly (daily is the goal!), reading the wisdom of so many great scholars and saints, reading the Catechism- and so many more ways to immerse in all that our faith has to offer. I may only know a tiny fraction of all that there is, but the more I can learn, the more I can share.
  3. Prayer is the backdrop that enables us to get into the right mindset to think of work as a mission field. It is easy to get tired and crabby, or to get off track and to think about things like “what’s in it for me”, when it comes to work. Praying every day- to me it’s best to get started before my feet hit the ground in the morning- is the best way to get my heart and mind oriented in the direction of gratitude, which is ultimately where the willingness to be generous and patient comes from. God has been so generous to me, the least I can do is to try to go the extra mile a bit, in whatever limited and flawed way I can, for those that God has put in my path.
  4. Having an accountability partner (or a bunch of them!) helps enormously. Particularly at work it is great to have colleagues who can be a sounding board, and who can also call you out if your actions aren’t lining up to what God has called us to be. How do you find people at work who can be a partner in faith? Look for clues! I have seen people wearing medals or crucifixes, or people who have scripture verses, or quotes from saints, taped to their computers which could indicate their faith. If you listen, you may hear a colleague say, when asked what they did over the weekend, “…after church on Sunday, my family and I …”. You can also leave these clues available for others to pick up on.

I know for me, my journey to becoming a Catholic and falling in love with the faith, came because of the people in my life who patiently shared the Gospel- even when I was not very receptive to the message. It is my prayer that I can be that for someone else. God does the converting and the saving, but He has put us here to be His “hands and feet” so that we can invite people to know Him and love Him too.

Praying Outside an Abortion Clinic

I was invited by a friend to pray at an abortion clinic. It was something I had wanted to do for a long time but wasn’t quite sure how to go about it. She sent me information from 40 Days for Life, and it seemed straightforward enough, so I agreed to meet her for an hour on Saturday to pray the rosary.

The day was drizzly and chilly, but not really uncomfortably so. I thought, as I put my coat on, how hard of a day this would be for the ladies who were also getting their coats and shoes on in preparation to go to the Clinic for the abortion procedure. I have had quite a few friends over the course of my life who have had abortions, and I don’t think that in any of the cases that I am aware of it was anything other than a deep sadness. As Mother Theresa said, 3/4ths of the victims of abortion are women- half the babies and all of the mothers. It is so hard to feel like you are between a rock and a hard place – and to make a decision that seems to be the lesser of two evils. What we know of course, is that abortion is only evil and the lie that Satan tells is that it is a solution when in fact it is the biggest of problems. But what does Satan love more than babies being sacrificed?

I wondered whether anyone would yell at us or threaten us as we prayed. New York City is sometimes called the abortion capital of the US, so not everyone is supportive of anything that looks opposed to abortion, even quiet and peaceful prayer. As it happens, there was a policeman stationed right next to the clinic (which is in a high rise building with no signage, so there is no way to identify the building as an abortion facility), who was so lovely. He came to speak with those of us about to pray- he said that he was supportive of us expressing our First Amendment rights, and that he knew we were peaceful. He asked us to be sure to not block the sidewalks and he would be sure that no one bothered us. He said “God bless you all”. It was touching.

There were about 20 people there praying, and it made me so happy to see that all the continents of the world (ok, probably not Antartica!) were represented, and there were men and women, the old and the young. There was a Friar (maybe a monk?) there as well. Otherwise it was all lay people, but filled with joy and earnestness in prayer. We were all united in praying- and I know in my heart there were prayers for the mom’s and dad’s and their families that were going through this difficult time- and asking Jesus to give them a change of heart. I was praying for the innocents who were being murdered. I was also praying also for the people who work at the clinic- that they would have their hearts and minds open and experience a change of perspective. It felt so much like a moment in time when I was clearly doing what God was calling me to do. It was also heartbreaking to see ladies leaving the clinic, sometimes leaning for support on someone, as they walked partially doubled over from post procedure pain.

I often hear from pro abortion people that those of us who are active in the pro life world don’t do enough for the lives of the mothers and babies to help them to make a different choice. This is certainly not my experience at all. There are so many ways to help -mothers, families and babies -and my fellow pro life friends are involved in many of them (and more!). If you want to know how to help mothers, families and babies, please reach out to Good Counsel Homes, Sisters of Life, Loveline– and there are so many other organizations. You can volunteer time, money, clothes and other home goods. You can help ladies write resumes to get better employment. You can offer translation skills if you are multi-lingual. You can also be a prayer warrior for those in need. Life is so sacred and babies are a gift of hopefulness for the world. Helping mother’s to see that their baby is a blessing, despite the difficult circumstances, is worth making an effort for.

Lent and Death

“Every day is a dress rehearsal for the second coming of Jesus”. Someone said this to me earlier this week, apparently it is a quote from Christopher Dawson. I hadn’t heard it before but it really stuck with me. We were in a Bible study discussing Mark 13, where Jesus talks about all of the tragic and frightening events that will occur before His return- and that we will not know the day nor the hour.

It seems that every generation believes that their times are the worst of times, and that surely God must have wearied of the sinful nature of man and is about to call it quits- but I have to keep reminding myself that as much as it seems like today could be the day, we don’t know. It seems like the Gospel has now been preached to every nation, which is a prerequisite for the end times, but no where does it say how much time might pass between when everyone has heard and when Jesus returns. It just feels like it should be soon, but everyone from the earliest disciples have said that, so we are certainly no different.

I actually think it is a good thing that we can imagine that these are the last days. In a way, I think Lent is particularly helpful in focusing on the fact that we are short lived on this earth – after all from dust we were made and to dust we will return is how we kick the whole season off. The point is that whether we are among the people who are alive when Jesus returns, we know for sure that we will all die and face Jesus in any case- so either way, that message that this is a dress rehearsal for the second coming is an important one to internalize. We sometimes act like we have time to get our spiritual act together- but as much as we don’t know when Jesus will return we equally have no idea when we will be taken out – by a heart attack or by a swerving car, or who knows how. The point is to be prepared to see Jesus face to face. As someone said in the Bible study this week- once you die you have “crossed the tape in the race”- there is no more opportunity for repentance, the race has been called.

What does being prepared mean? It means to believe in the Redeemer, but that can’t be enough- even Satan believes that Jesus is the messiah! I particularly found this article to be a good reminder, that we are called not only to believe, but to respond in the ways that Jesus instructed us- be baptized, be a member of the Body of Christ, i.e. the Church. Repent. Seek holiness. This is why Lent is so useful because it reminds us that we have to die to ourselves to that He may live in us.

No Fear- Except Fear of the Lord

This has been a tumultuous year around the world, and now in the US we have the added volatility caused by the elections. It could be easy to worry about what will happen next- there is no shortage of bad things that happen- either in actuality or in our imaginations gone wild:

Illness- whether COVID or cancer or something else, many are already suffering- will there be more and will it be us or our loved ones?

Loss of a loved one- as a parent one of the most dread fears is the loss of a child, but the loss of anyone that we love is painful.

Financial ruin- lack of food or necessities. Poverty and homelessness impact many- will we be next? How can we help those in need when there are so many?

Social unrest- will we be safe? The inhumanity to man inflicted by others is the story of the human experience- in brutal Communist regimes or the holocausts that have claimed millions, or wars etc. Will this be part of our future too?

The end of the world- whether Climate change, Zombie Apocalypse, the Purge or Nuclear Holocaust, we worry about our world going up in flames.

Death- many fear the pain of dying, others the uncertainty of what happens when we go.

The list could be much longer, but the point is that we could be in a perpetual state of anguish, either from the current pain of reality or the anticipation of some worse fate.

The good news is in the Good News! We really do not have to worry about any of these things- why?

  1. Jesus promised that we will experience suffering in this life. No need to worry about if there will be pain- there will be. Most of us know this because we have experienced it first hand at some point or another. This earth is not heaven – but we do have heaven to look forward to!
  2. Jesus is with us in the pain- He experienced pain too. We can embrace the suffering and have it be the vehicle that brings us closer to Him. We can also offer it as a sacrifice for the souls who are lost or those suffering in purgatory. Mother Angelica had said that the suffering she experienced (she was very ill and in pain for most of her life) was so sweet because of how it bonded her to Jesus- that if people really understood this, they would covet suffering! Hard to imagine but really a comforting thought.
  3. We are not alone- in all of the stories in history of horrible atrocities come also the most beautiful stories of faith and courage. Read about St. Maximillian Kolbe or St Jose Luis Sanchez del Rio. These are incredibly uplifting stories of real people- flawed like all of us- who in times of extreme difficulty found peace in their faith and changed the world.
  4. Most importantly, death has no claim on us. As St Paul said, “To live is Christ, to die is gain!”- we don’t need to fear death because Jesus already defeated death. What we do need to fear is whether we are right with God or not. We want to be very clear that we are running towards God with every fiber of our being, not away from Him.
  5. The fear and pain of knowing that a loved one is not right with God is real. I often wonder, how can we be happy in heaven if we know someone we love will not be there with us? This brings to mind the words of St Padre Pio:

“Pray, hope, and don’t worry. Worry is useless. God is merciful and will hear your prayer.”

This doesn’t mean we get what we want because we ask God for it, but it means we can give it to God- and take comfort in knowing that He loves the people that we love even more than we do- and he can change their hearts. Worry is useless. We just need to remain faithful and continue to pray and to be the best witness we can be to the people we encounter.

Interfaith Partnerships and Religious Freedom at Work

Some years ago I had a work dinner with many people that went fairly late into the evening. One of my colleagues approached me as it looked like it was wrapping up, and asked if I would be willing to stick around and have a drink with her- she wanted to talk to me about something. I had time and was happy to do it. As we were walking to the bar, she asked me – in a sort of hesitant way- if I considered myself religious. I knew she knew the answer, but I said that yes, I am a religious Catholic. She said to me “are you aware that I am the opposite religion to you?” I explained to her that unless she was a satan worshipper, there wasn’t an “opposite” religion to me- and I knew full well that she was Jewish, so I went on to say that there is a lot of kinship from a Catholic perspective between Jews and Catholics.

This was the beginning of a very strong and beautiful friendship. My friend had wanted to talk to me that night because she was having some issues at our place of employment, at the intersection of her faith and our work. She had not been raised in a strict Orthodox tradition, but she had married a very observant Jewish man and had adopted his customs and beliefs, which she had grown to love. This was a very parallel path to my own marriage to a strong Catholic man and my journey to love our faith. For her, part of her observance was that she needed to be home before sun down on Friday nights- and she feared that her team may think she was a slacker, or worse that she was cutting out early to get to the pub (we were living in London at the time). We talked about how to share with the team that her leaving early on Friday – and being unavailable on Saturday (a hard thing to do in the 24/7 world of Investment Banking) was something that she had to preserve- but that she would be available on Sundays as needed. Her resolve in this made it even easier for me to also insist on “keeping the Sabbath holy” on Sundays for myself.

Later in my career I had a wonderful and wise boss who was an very faith focused Muslim man. Although probably self-categorized as “liberal” in the customs of his faith, he was very focused on God and on trying to understand how to live out his faith well. We enjoyed talking at length about our beliefs – and I remember being in his office when some particularly brutal attacks by Isis were in the news and how devastated he was that such obvious hate, that could only be motivated by Satan, could be done by anyone who professed to love God.

Over the course of my career I have had colleagues of all faiths, and even though we disagreed on many things theologically, there was an underlying respect for the purpose that we were all trying to live out our faith as best we could, in a business climate that overall was not generally friendly to religious people. Although many diversity initiatives are in place- and certainly more today include religious diversity as equally important to other aspects- this was not always the case, and in some companies, religion is still the “third rail” of difference that gets no airtime when the virtues of difference are extolled.

Because we are now living in a post-Christian nation, and in a world that shuns religious orthodoxy of any kind, it is my view that people of faith- irrespective of religion- need to support one another in the workforce. Whether it is in making sure the Muslim colleagues have a prayer room (as is now quite standard in many large companies) or that holidays can be observed, the benefits of being able to be more open about being a person of faith accrue to all. Although I believe strongly in evangelizing and spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ, when it comes to religious freedom a rising tide lifts all boats, and there is no reason to be exclusive. What is good for one is good for all.

Kindle Kindness

“Lord, make me an instrument of they peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love.” -St Francis of Assisi.

This beautiful quote is something that I recommend as a mantra in these weeks leading up to the US election. All across the globe there is significant unrest and disagreement about so many things. It sometimes feels like there isn’t anything we can do about it, but that is a lie of the evil one. In fact there is a lot we can do!

  1. We need to think about where it is important to engage and where it is ok to just say “you are probably right!” and leave it alone. With most things relating to politics and public policy, it is just fine to agree to disagree. As Catholics we do need to know that there are certain things that we do need to stand up for. Just as Jesus threw the money changers out of the temple, we do need to stand up for our faith. I was talking to a high school student the other day, and he told me that his friends we discussing politics- and had a point of view that he disagreed with- but he didn’t feel the need to interject. The conversation then turned to religion, and some of the boys started seriously blaspheming and saying ugly things about God. This young man at that point spoke up and said, “As a Christian I can’t stand by and let you say that. You can’t say that about God- it’s not okay.” The other boys apologized and changed the subject. As adults we need that same conviction- and to know where the line is. We rarely win people over with arguing, but being firm in our convictions is very important- about the things that really matter.
  2. We can actively try to sew seeds of reconciliation. Sometimes just not engaging isn’t enough. It is important to share love with people even if (and maybe especially if) you disagree with them. Jesus said we are to love our enemies- and that can seem like an outrageous mandate at times- it is so easy for us to think “If Jesus only knew MY enemies…”- but of course He does, and He also faced much worse. Praying for our enemies and remembering that in some instances “they know not what they are doing” is important. But we can be salt and light in the world by genuinely caring for people, even if they are promoting ideas and policies that we find objectionable as Catholics.
  3. One of the best ways to love someone is to pray for them. Actively praying for that political candidate that you are voting against, or the people who support them, is important. Remembering that we are ALL made in the image and likeness of God- not only the people who agree with us!
  4. Listening is also really important. There are plenty of good people who have great intentions- and who may even want the same outcome as you do- but who have different ideas on how best to get there. Having the humility to see that you could be wrong, and to listen to another point of view with genuine intent is a loving thing to do. Your mind may not at all be changed by what they say, but their heart may be changed by your desire to hear them. Also, there are reasons why people come to the conclusions that they come to. If you lived their circumstances, would you have drawn the same conclusion as them perhaps?

We have a choice about whether to be people who foment division or who kindle love and peace. If we resolve every morning before our feet hit the floor to be the sort of people who kindle kindness, we will certainly make our own lives better, and we just might improve the lives of the people we encounter as well.

Who is that Blind Man?

I was reading in the book of John last week and came across the story that most of us know well. The one where Jesus comes across the Blind Man, and is asked whether it was the man who did something wrong, or his family, that caused his blindness. Jesus uses this occasion to share that people are NOT afflicted because of something they (or their families) did wrong, but rather his healing is to bear witness to the miracles of Jesus and to the power of God. I am paraphrasing, but that is what I have gotten out of the story every time I have read it- except for this time.

This time when I read it, I got to thinking about this man. He was born blind- and through his whole life he was living with this major affliction, why? So that we – all of the generations from that point forward- would be able to understand this miracle of Jesus, and also to understand that people ARE sometimes afflicted for the benefit of the people around them, to learn to know and love Jesus. Our afflictions are not to punish us, but they can be of service to the world. It feels like a huge burden, however it is also a tremendous opportunity.

Many years ago, I met a woman when I was pregnant for my second child. She was lived across the street from me, and I had just moved into the neighborhood with my husband and toddler. The day after I met her, my baby was born- prematurely and via C-section- and died shortly after he was born. As anyone who has experienced this knows, it is a deep grief. My neighbor heard about this and came to my house to offer to be there for me. She was the mother of two children that I had met – but what I didn’t know was that her first baby had also died a few days after birth. She understood my pain. I eagerly took her up on her offer to talk and to listen. She did more to help me heal through that process than almost anyone. Whats more- she was a Christian and I was not. She introduced me to Jesus, and that was a tremendous step forward in my faith journey.

My friend was the Blind Man to me. She suffered something that I would wish on no one- but through her suffering I came to know Jesus. The question for me is, how have I been able to use the suffering that I have experienced to be the Blind Man for someone else? If we could all take our suffering and turn it into something beautiful by not only helping to relieve someone’s earthly pain, but also to help them on their journey to salvation, what a gift that could be!

The Results are God’s

A friend told me a story today that was very different than anything I had heard before. She described it as her “Isaac” moment. Remember when God told Abraham to take Isaac to the mountain and kill him as a sacrifice? And how – almost unbelievably- Abraham was obedient to God, even though Isaac was the the promise of the future? It is a hard story for most of us, and certainly me, to fully get my head wrapped around. I get that it foreshadows that God DID sacrifice His only son for us, and that we need to be trusting and obedient in the way that Abraham was- but it is so hard to think about the possibility of murdering your own child.

In my friend’s case, it was a different “ask” that God had for her- but a hard one, nonetheless. She was a professional woman with a good career, a few years after graduating from a very prestigious University. She had been a runner in College, and she loved it – and was quite good at it. Once she started working, the running became something she did sporadically – time was much tighter. Her company relocated her to a new city, and although it was her “dream job” she was lonely, without any family or friends nearby. She decided to join a running club, with two goals in mind- one to make friends and one to participate in an overseas meet. She worked in the day, and enjoyed running with her new friends at night.

She made it to an overseas meet – and to her surprise, ran her personal lifetime best. She was spotted by a scout, and was asked to try out for the Olympic team, which she did. To her surprise, she made it. She competed in the Olympics – and then came back to work, and life went on. She felt, however, that God was telling her that this was a talent that He had given her- and like in the parable of the talents, He was asking that she give it back to Him with interest. After much prayer she concluded that God was asking her to really focus on running to prepare for the next Olympics, now a couple of years away.

She took a leave from her (very good) job, with no guarantee that there would be a job waiting for her when she came back. She moved to a new city to work with the coach she felt would best prepare her. She was again alone- but she believed that this was her “Isaac moment”- that God was asking her to give up what mattered to her (the job and friends- security and comfort) and do this for Him, and that is how she thought of it. The training went exceptionally well, and as the Olympics neared, it was clear that she would be a contender to medal. She was ready. But right before the day when she would get on the plane to compete, she had a major accident- and could no longer run in the Olympics.

Most people, I would venture to guess, would feel some combination of anger, bitterness and sadness. The “why me, God?” line of questions would begin. My friend said she had none of that- just peace. She said, “I always knew that my job was to deliver my best for God- but the results were His area, not mine”. She said that she felt great that she was obedient to God in the best way that she knew how to be, so she could regret nothing. The peace and joy with which she describes these events are almost impossible to imagine- but then, so is the story of Abraham and Isaac. As another friend said about this whole situation, “if you aren’t faithful to God, you end up with Ishmael, rather than Isaac” – filled with regret and remorse and “what if”. Knowing that my job is to focus on the process of doing my best, and leaving the result to God is a very freeing way to live life. It was inspiring to get this tangible example to follow.

Sharing our Faith

For some of us it feels awkward to discuss our faith outside of the small circle of people we know are on the “same page”. Whether at work or in other social settings, we know we are meant to be “salt and light” in the world- but how can we do that without sounding preachy, or without alienating people who are “anti-religious”, of which there seem to be more and more. We are meant to be beacons that help our fellow humans on the path to redemption and to heaven- but sometimes it is easier to “hide our light under a bushel”. Here are a few suggestions on how to witness in some pretty easy ways:

  1. “What did you do this weekend?”- that is a pretty stock question that you get when you speak with colleagues or friends. Before answering with whatever you binge watched on Netflix, or with the whatever else you may have done, frame the answer with “After Church, my family and I did…”. Just dropping it out there that you go to church can be the opening that a curious seeker may need to engage you in a discussion about faith.
  2. “How can I help?” – when someone comes to you with a problem, it is, of course important to have a listening and empathetic ear. Once into the discussion about their issue, asking them “can I pray for you?” is a wonderful way to introduce the presence of God into the equation. I have never had anyone say “no” in response to this. For the advanced version of this, you can actually pray for them right there on the spot, but I am not quite there yet.
  3. Sometimes what you wear (Miraculous Medal? Cross?) can be a witness, likewise what you are reading. I once had the book “Too Busy Not to Pray” in my office at work, and it created a wonderful and spontaneous discussion with a young Christian woman who had felt lonely and isolated because she believed she was the only person at work who was a believer. I didn’t have the book lying around to be a conversation starter, but after that encounter I was much more conscious of doing just that.
  4. Surprise people with your reactions. If you are at peace and filled with joy, it is contagious and people will want to know how to get some of what you have. We know we are called to return hate with love – but even not getting frustrated or frazzled at work is a positive witness. Seeing Jesus in everyone we encounter is our opportunity, and finding ways to demonstrate this love is a great way to share the love of Christ.
  5. Focus on listening – when someone comes to tell you their problems, or to vent about something- or even to share good news, give them your undivided attention. Show people by your focus how much they matter to you. It is so easy to get distracted with what is happening on our screens, or to be racing from one activity or meeting to another. Really pausing and listening is a gift that you can give someone- and it is a reflection of the love of Christ.

Those are some of my ideas, but I would love to hear yours. Comment if you have ways that you have found to share the love of Jesus with the world around you!